Saturday, December 07, 2013

How to Be a Hairy Woman

Society puts a lot of pressure on women to be hairless. Underarm, leg and facial hair is considered socially unattractive in numerous cultures and yet forty percent of women experience the growth of facial hair, while the majority of women have body hair. The removal of hair by shaving has often been used as an act of humiliation in ancient cultures, during wartime and in modern day prison systems; this same sense of humiliation is fostered when certain media driven beauty ideals insist that hair be removed to reflect feminine beauty.

Having body hair is a sign of an adult body and proper sexual development. If you're a woman who likes keeping the hair that grows naturally on each part of your body, how do you deal with the fact that social preferences insist upon removal of your body and facial hair? Since smoothness is equated with a beauty standard, does it mean you're not beautiful if you're hairy? Of course not. What it does mean is that you've chosen to keep what grows naturally and it's a choice as valid as any decision to remove it, if not more so. As a sexually mature woman who desires to keep her natural hair intact, questioning the ideal of hair removal can be challenging but it's also rewarding when you fulfill your personal choice. This article seeks to help you work through your personal choice to keep the natural hair in place on your body or face.


  1. Think through the reasons behind hair removal. Removal of certain parts of body and facial hair that grows naturally on the female body is viewed by some cultures as a beauty essential. This societal conditioning in itself is not a reason for you to shave off your body or facial hair. Obviously, if you want to do so, then that is totally your right but so is choosing not to; what matters is that it is your choice and not something you feel compelled to do. Some things to consider include:
    • If the whole idea of keeping your body hair intact causes you to think "ew, gross", think again. Do you dislike the sight of your bodily hair or have you been conditioned to dislike it by societal pressure stating that it is not acceptable? This is a hard question to untangle but it's not one to back down from, especially if you find yourself spending a lot of time conforming to beauty ideals that impact your wallet, energies and self-esteem.
    • Shaving bodily hair does not equate to cleanliness. This is about conformity to a body or feminine ideal, not about being dirty. You are clean whether you have body hair or not, provided you shower or bathe regularly.
    • There is a large industry behind hair removal products. This is one fairly heavily marketed and socially condoned reason for obliging women to remove hair.

  2. Confront your worries about turning off potential partners. There are plenty of men who like women with body or facial hair. You may be assuming too much about men disliking it. Sure, some men have been conditioned to dislike it but there are plenty of men who find it erotic, beautiful or just plain normal. Indeed, maybe it's a good indicator of how a man perceives you as a person or as an object when you reveal your hairier self… What you may find is that it is sometimes other women who will criticize your choice to remain hairy.
    • Many European women are far less obsessed about the removal of body hair than their North American counterparts. And yet, their love lives and general relationships are certainly not suffering for being a little hairier!
    • Women like Frida Kahlo, Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brooke Shields have at one time or other sported famous body hair.
    • Just be aware that some men feel embarrassed to admit they like hairy women. You could be hiding your hairiness from him, he could be hiding his like for it from you, and this could just go on forever. Be honest and see what happens.
  3. Focus on what you will gain by allowing your natural hair to remain in place. There are so many benefits to letting the hair grow where it will, that these might tip the scales in favor of keeping your natural hair. Time and money once spent on hair removal is now a thing of the past. Not to mention forgoing the pain from waxing and shaving nicks. Gone is the after-pain of shaving or tweezing. And deodorant works just as well on hairy parts as on shaved parts (despite an oft-touted and unfounded insistence to the contrary). Standing up for freedom of choice as to how you, as a woman, express your beauty is a valuable gain. Finally but not least, you'll also start to discover the silent proportion of men who are just fine (and maybe even turned on by) hair on the female form.
    • Having hair on your body or face can be a great way to pick the boys from the men (or the girly girls from the real women), the conformists from the true thinkers and the mature from the immature. People's reactions will tell you a great deal…
    • Shaving pubic region hair can result in painful regrowth if the hairs become ingrown. This is definitely one area worth avoiding such painful outcomes!
  4. Decide the extent to which you want to be a hairy woman. There are varying degrees of hairiness and anything you choose is fine. Some women prefer to shape out the monobrow, while some women are happy to shave their legs but keep armpit hair. Then, there are women happiest not to touch any of it. The extent of hairiness rests with your personal comfort level, the reasons behind wanting to keep your natural body hair and even the style of clothing you wear normally.
    • For some women, bleaching is a solution. Keep the hair but lessen its impact by bleaching it. Realize that this starts to get a little crazy when your leg skin bleaches too… You might want to look into professional bleaching services if you take this option seriously.
    • Sometimes skin sensitivity or high pain levels in one region (such as the armpits) could cause you to leave one part of your body free from shaving while still shaving another part.
    • Another possible choice is "seasonal hairiness". During winter, let it grow like wildfire, while in summer, tame the growth.
  5. Care for your natural body hair that you keep. Whether you're keeping all of your body hair, parts of it or seasonally adjusting it, there are some helpful hair care tips to follow:
    • Try to make any kept hair softer. Use hair conditioner on it regularly, but be careful around the pubic area.
    • Brush body hair with a damp nail brush if you feel it looks messy. Otherwise, leave it well alone and it'll usually take care of itself.
    • If you wish, cut hair a little shorter with nail scissors to keep it looking neat and even.
    • Keep clean. If you don't have time to shower, wash your underarms at the sink with shower gel as you would in the shower, then apply deodorant.
    • Avoid shaving if you do choose to remove any hair. Stubble is prickly and not as soft as grown hair. It can lead to irritated skin and ingrown hairs. Go for waxing or laser treatment for any hair you want removed.
  6. Deal with put downs and critical comments with grace and dignity. There will always be someone with a thoughtless, less-than-insightful comment seeking that you conform to their notion of the beauty ideal. There are several possible ways to respond to unkind words said about your choice to keep your natural body or facial hair:
    • Say nothing. Simply smile and turn away from them.
    • Ask them if they'd feel the same way about getting rid of hair if all of their hair suddenly fell out. Then comment on how funny it is that in a world where women would do anything not to go bald on top of the head, we insist that women go on removing naturally growing hair!
    • Make a joke out of it.
    • Probe them. Ask them exactly what it is that they think is so gross about naturally growing body hair on the female form. Be prepared for a long discussion and a lot of rebuttal. Bear in mind that you can have quite a lot of fun with this one because "gross" is not a reason and getting to the real reason behind the person's dislike can be very revealing.
    • Ask them if they really do prefer relegating women to the status of pre-adolescence by insisting on a beauty standard that infantilizes women. This is only for the woman who likes a good, potentially heated discussion that may, or may not, involve barbs about feminism. Stand your ground and call the bluffs as you see them.
    • Stare them straight in the face and tell them that they have truly offended you. Leave it at that.
  7. Be confident with your decision. People may not notice anyway, and if they do, who really cares? As with all things that matter to you personally in life, navigate toward the people who don't give a toss about your appearance or who are supportive. The rest you can do without.
    • By all means remained well groomed (which is a different matter from appearance) but don't feel that you have to conform.
    • Being ashamed of your decision to stay hairy is a turn-off and can cause you to hide behind clothes and closed doors. Don't be ashamed; wear the hair proudly so that other women may also feel as confident as you do.